Ah, man, I find it so strange that something so different from my childhood is still so relatable. I think it's the world building that makes the actions belivable, and this belief in the world makes the escalating actions have so much more impact.
It feels like Dean's life will be fully formed by the end of the story, not just a character but a person.
Thank you, sir. I hadn't thought of it like that, world building, but yea it is that isn't it. That's what we're trying to do. My latest hobby is to try to move myself (emotionally) with a story. I'm not an easy man to move, so I have to go to some dark places... and take you all there on a visit.
Thanks Maegan! This time last year certain people (Tom, Amran) were correctly letting me know that my characters were too detached, that I was holding back on the humanity/sensitivity/vulnerability. So I thought fuck it, let's be honest, bring the world I grew up in and the personalities I grew up around to the page, no censorship, no holding back, and see if it hits. Just about remembering that every single character, no matter how minor in the story, is a complex human with a load of backstory and trauma and hopes and disappointments, and all of that backstory influences their motivations/actions/reasoning. You already know all of that, of course (but in case any of my students happen to be reading this comment, that's a reminder for you!)
Grim. Excellent voice and pacing, per usual. Not knowing where this comes in the story, it's hard to know much about the plot. If these are early pages, I'd encourage more set up for the main story arc and what the stakes are or will be. Good to see a new post from you!
Thanks for reading, Amran, mate. To add context, it's a flashback/memory of main character. I decided ultimately to write the book I want to read, that almost certainly falls into the category of (unsellable) literary fiction, but I just don't feel true to myself writing plot-driven fiction.
For want of a better comparison, it's in a similar vein to Slaughterhouse:Five. There's a plot-driven element in the present, but at least half of the book is told through flashbacks for the sake of story and character development rather than plot. Not sure who else will want to read it, time will tell.
You should always write the book you want to read. Flashbacks are great and can stand alone and you don't need to tie plot into them. Was just wondering how soon it comes, because even in a pure literary piece starting too early with a flashback can be an issue.
This happens every day in real life except in this story the young boy has the compassion to know that he must do something nice. Sad that children have to see things like this hopefully one can learn from this deteriorating society. Excellent read.
More and more I find Fuck It is the way to go.
We're at that age!
Ah, man, I find it so strange that something so different from my childhood is still so relatable. I think it's the world building that makes the actions belivable, and this belief in the world makes the escalating actions have so much more impact.
It feels like Dean's life will be fully formed by the end of the story, not just a character but a person.
Top work, mate.
Thank you, sir. I hadn't thought of it like that, world building, but yea it is that isn't it. That's what we're trying to do. My latest hobby is to try to move myself (emotionally) with a story. I'm not an easy man to move, so I have to go to some dark places... and take you all there on a visit.
Wow, Kris, I’m speechless. This is so moving.
Top notch voice, pacing, dialogue, characters, and conflict. Would read more.
Thanks Maegan! This time last year certain people (Tom, Amran) were correctly letting me know that my characters were too detached, that I was holding back on the humanity/sensitivity/vulnerability. So I thought fuck it, let's be honest, bring the world I grew up in and the personalities I grew up around to the page, no censorship, no holding back, and see if it hits. Just about remembering that every single character, no matter how minor in the story, is a complex human with a load of backstory and trauma and hopes and disappointments, and all of that backstory influences their motivations/actions/reasoning. You already know all of that, of course (but in case any of my students happen to be reading this comment, that's a reminder for you!)
Grim. Excellent voice and pacing, per usual. Not knowing where this comes in the story, it's hard to know much about the plot. If these are early pages, I'd encourage more set up for the main story arc and what the stakes are or will be. Good to see a new post from you!
Thanks for reading, Amran, mate. To add context, it's a flashback/memory of main character. I decided ultimately to write the book I want to read, that almost certainly falls into the category of (unsellable) literary fiction, but I just don't feel true to myself writing plot-driven fiction.
For want of a better comparison, it's in a similar vein to Slaughterhouse:Five. There's a plot-driven element in the present, but at least half of the book is told through flashbacks for the sake of story and character development rather than plot. Not sure who else will want to read it, time will tell.
You should always write the book you want to read. Flashbacks are great and can stand alone and you don't need to tie plot into them. Was just wondering how soon it comes, because even in a pure literary piece starting too early with a flashback can be an issue.
Sounds like a good read. Keep it up.
Cheers mate. This particular one comes in at about chapter 6, 7 or 8. Still experimenting.
This happens every day in real life except in this story the young boy has the compassion to know that he must do something nice. Sad that children have to see things like this hopefully one can learn from this deteriorating society. Excellent read.
Thank you 🙏