I feel your concerns about being understood; using colours or objects or places or music that's got personal significance and not knowing if people will get it. It's cool because it feels so open but is still so guarded.
I have my own thoughts about the symbolism used, but I don’t know if I'd want them confirmed or denied. Suffice to say, I dig what you've written. I enjoyed the transformation of the objects and the characters. I like the elements of travel and tethering and of the feeling of being an outsider.
And I can absolutely picture where they're sat. It feels really familiar somehow.
Very interesting piece, Kris! I read it this morning but wanted to think about it some more before commenting. What I really want to know more about are the physics and rules of this universe you've created. I'm kind of dense, so I'd like to understand if people alternate between transforming into dogs, or if everyone is just high AF, or whatever. If you were so inclined - and by no means am I trying to impose work on you - writing a follow-on "chapter" to this piece in your current mind state, with your current skills, could produce a fascinating result. You know, if you're bored. :-)
Thanks Amran, mate, appreciate that. But I feel I maybe have to disappoint you with my answer to your question. I have never given a moment's thought to the physics or rules, neither way back then, or now, because to my perception there are no dogs in this story.
I don't want to say much about my own meaning, because the story is there to be interpreted differently by everyone who reads it, and no doubt each person will have a different perception, and that perception will change and change again.
I genuinely had no idea this piece from way-back-when would stimulate the thoughts, questions and discussions it has. I'm glad it has, though, because as said, on a personal level this is a very special piece to me. For many reasons. But probably mostly as a time portal back to a world so fucking different from the one I now know.
That is why I love this story. The abstract symbolism of the two characters and how they are perceived breaks perceptions. I have a remotely similar story I’ve been sitting on for a while that I’m now motivated to revisit. Don’t really care about the judges comments (though rejection always bites). Your story gave me permission to keep thinking differently. Thanks, and Bravo!
Jay, thank you for these words. Let it be known that you've motivated me as much, if not more, than this story did you. Helped me at least for another few hours to overcome the crippling self-doubt. Thank you, mate.
No worries at all. There are no right answers with art. I like the idea of the dogs as perceptions and metaphors. That didn't cross my mind on first read. I'll check it out again and see if anything different catches my eye. Very interesting, indeed!
haha! Yea I know, right! You know what I mean, though. Maybe. I dunno. Nostalgia's a funny thing. Like a narcissistic parent. You know they're lies, but the instinct is to believe. Until it is the opposite. I'm talking shit. If you know you know. Thank you for reading, and for taking the time to comment, mate. Appreciate it! :)
Ha ha, I have a narcissistic parent, and throughout my childhood she used to tell us that our family had lived on this same farm since the late 1600s--as if that made us American royalty or something. One day I said something about it to my grandfather and he said, “Tom, what are you talking about, my father bought that farm in 1910.” The things we hold on to! I probably wrote a similar story in my 20s, so I got that part ... but it’s a gimmick, right?
I hear that! My narcissistic parent told me throughout our childhood that we were related to Charles Dickens. Like, he was a great great uncle. And I would tell everyone at school: teachers and kids. Often there was doubt, and I would report this doubt to my parent as soon as I got home, and that parent would tell me that the doubters were just jealous. And it was only natural, I'd tell my English teachers, that I took such pleasure in writing. (And in my head: "And only natural that I be so good at it!") - I had a friend in my twenties who was really into genealogy. Offered to do my family tree and history for me. "Finally," I told her, "I can get that proof about Dickens!" You know the rest of the story.
Definitely not a gimmick. I remember clearly exactly when the story came to me. On a long walk home, rain-sodden, contents of pockets left behind at the bookies. To me it's a metaphor, mostly about how we see ourselves, compared to how others see us, and in comparison with others.
Love the Dickens story--feels like about the same dynamic. My mom wanted me to think our family was special, so she stretched the truth a bit. As I’ve gotten older, I see that she does it all the time: she wants to craft the most flattering possible story about herself, facts be damned. Thanks for the correction on the “gimmick” comment; that makes it much more interesting to hear that perspective, sincerely. I think I went to “gimmick” because I was reading someone the other day who was clearly just taking little “tricks” or “gimmicks” and exploring them, so that’s where I went with yours. But my mistake, I apologize--didn’t mean to come off as insulting.
Because something very interesting is happening and I must know more!
I love it love it love it when she asks, "Are you a dog too?"
Ah...I remember when my beloved Camel Lights became Camel Blues... (We departed many years ago, but I still enjoy a vicarious drag every now and then, so thank you for the imagery to provide such.)
Ha! Thanks Maegan! You're the second person to remark that they want to know more (the other one was in an email). That's really encouraging!
Ah yes, it seems we were smoking around the same period. I also departed from them many years ago (seven now!), but even a vicarious drag now, I suspect, would make me run and puke. Funny how it goes.
Thanks for commenting. Been a while since you posted: hope there's something on the horizon!
:) It's good writing! So you should be encouraged.
I have a work in the works that I am trying to finish, but real work has been really tough as this is our peak time of year. (Hubby and I own a construction business together and he has been getting home at midnight for the last four months...) Hoping to catch a break soon and wrap it up this month!!
I rather liked it. I understand the critique that judge gave, but the imagery you paint with your writing is superior. I enjoy it both from a subjective and metaphorical standpoint as well as just an interesting plot for a story.
The judge was incorrect also. I do want to know more. I would be interested to see where that story and those characters went, and I identify also with a fear of never being seen or understood properly or humans making a face value judgment on something they will never make time to understand.
Thank you Katy. I appreciate the comment, I'm always glad when someone gets it in some way.
I can answer the question about where the characters went. They shared an intense, intimate, half a year together. Imploded in explosive fashion. And a decade later both are accepted by society (who gives a fuck?), haven't spoken for ten years but still occasionally run into a mutual friend and ask how the other is doing, with only kind wishes.
INTENSE, INTIMATE relationships often do implode. Especially when you are in the life period of attempting to understand your place in society (before you stopped giving a fuck) and seeking validation and understanding in someone else who may or may not have a stable grasp on themselves. Especially when her previous “owner” “really loved her.”
Say that enough times you start to believe it. About happiness. But I am definitely glad that he was able to move on. Sounds like he was only seen as a dog when he tried to save her, but he was really a very good human that didn’t understand that yet.
True writers write for themselves and not necessarily an audience. That wisdom is not mine but true nonetheless I think. As long as it reaches and resonates with others on some level, and you grew from that piece you wrote it was a success.
I feel your concerns about being understood; using colours or objects or places or music that's got personal significance and not knowing if people will get it. It's cool because it feels so open but is still so guarded.
I have my own thoughts about the symbolism used, but I don’t know if I'd want them confirmed or denied. Suffice to say, I dig what you've written. I enjoyed the transformation of the objects and the characters. I like the elements of travel and tethering and of the feeling of being an outsider.
And I can absolutely picture where they're sat. It feels really familiar somehow.
Cheers Matt. I thought you'd get it and I was right.
Very interesting piece, Kris! I read it this morning but wanted to think about it some more before commenting. What I really want to know more about are the physics and rules of this universe you've created. I'm kind of dense, so I'd like to understand if people alternate between transforming into dogs, or if everyone is just high AF, or whatever. If you were so inclined - and by no means am I trying to impose work on you - writing a follow-on "chapter" to this piece in your current mind state, with your current skills, could produce a fascinating result. You know, if you're bored. :-)
Thanks Amran, mate, appreciate that. But I feel I maybe have to disappoint you with my answer to your question. I have never given a moment's thought to the physics or rules, neither way back then, or now, because to my perception there are no dogs in this story.
I don't want to say much about my own meaning, because the story is there to be interpreted differently by everyone who reads it, and no doubt each person will have a different perception, and that perception will change and change again.
I genuinely had no idea this piece from way-back-when would stimulate the thoughts, questions and discussions it has. I'm glad it has, though, because as said, on a personal level this is a very special piece to me. For many reasons. But probably mostly as a time portal back to a world so fucking different from the one I now know.
That is why I love this story. The abstract symbolism of the two characters and how they are perceived breaks perceptions. I have a remotely similar story I’ve been sitting on for a while that I’m now motivated to revisit. Don’t really care about the judges comments (though rejection always bites). Your story gave me permission to keep thinking differently. Thanks, and Bravo!
Jay, thank you for these words. Let it be known that you've motivated me as much, if not more, than this story did you. Helped me at least for another few hours to overcome the crippling self-doubt. Thank you, mate.
No worries at all. There are no right answers with art. I like the idea of the dogs as perceptions and metaphors. That didn't cross my mind on first read. I'll check it out again and see if anything different catches my eye. Very interesting, indeed!
I’m not so sure you should regret that your head is not in a place to write this story again ... :)
haha! Yea I know, right! You know what I mean, though. Maybe. I dunno. Nostalgia's a funny thing. Like a narcissistic parent. You know they're lies, but the instinct is to believe. Until it is the opposite. I'm talking shit. If you know you know. Thank you for reading, and for taking the time to comment, mate. Appreciate it! :)
Ha ha, I have a narcissistic parent, and throughout my childhood she used to tell us that our family had lived on this same farm since the late 1600s--as if that made us American royalty or something. One day I said something about it to my grandfather and he said, “Tom, what are you talking about, my father bought that farm in 1910.” The things we hold on to! I probably wrote a similar story in my 20s, so I got that part ... but it’s a gimmick, right?
I hear that! My narcissistic parent told me throughout our childhood that we were related to Charles Dickens. Like, he was a great great uncle. And I would tell everyone at school: teachers and kids. Often there was doubt, and I would report this doubt to my parent as soon as I got home, and that parent would tell me that the doubters were just jealous. And it was only natural, I'd tell my English teachers, that I took such pleasure in writing. (And in my head: "And only natural that I be so good at it!") - I had a friend in my twenties who was really into genealogy. Offered to do my family tree and history for me. "Finally," I told her, "I can get that proof about Dickens!" You know the rest of the story.
Definitely not a gimmick. I remember clearly exactly when the story came to me. On a long walk home, rain-sodden, contents of pockets left behind at the bookies. To me it's a metaphor, mostly about how we see ourselves, compared to how others see us, and in comparison with others.
Love the Dickens story--feels like about the same dynamic. My mom wanted me to think our family was special, so she stretched the truth a bit. As I’ve gotten older, I see that she does it all the time: she wants to craft the most flattering possible story about herself, facts be damned. Thanks for the correction on the “gimmick” comment; that makes it much more interesting to hear that perspective, sincerely. I think I went to “gimmick” because I was reading someone the other day who was clearly just taking little “tricks” or “gimmicks” and exploring them, so that’s where I went with yours. But my mistake, I apologize--didn’t mean to come off as insulting.
No problem, I didn't take it as an insult.
And yea everything you said about your mum I can relate to.
The most fanstasical thing about this story is that no self respecing dog would smoke Camels! ;)
Great story and love the pacing.
Thanks mate. But I don't know where you're from, but in this dog's world, smoking Camel Blues meant you were alright. Camel Yellows - different story!
Ah, I love this story. But Why?
Because something very interesting is happening and I must know more!
I love it love it love it when she asks, "Are you a dog too?"
Ah...I remember when my beloved Camel Lights became Camel Blues... (We departed many years ago, but I still enjoy a vicarious drag every now and then, so thank you for the imagery to provide such.)
And the end--what a twist!
Thank you for sharing.
Ha! Thanks Maegan! You're the second person to remark that they want to know more (the other one was in an email). That's really encouraging!
Ah yes, it seems we were smoking around the same period. I also departed from them many years ago (seven now!), but even a vicarious drag now, I suspect, would make me run and puke. Funny how it goes.
Thanks for commenting. Been a while since you posted: hope there's something on the horizon!
:) It's good writing! So you should be encouraged.
I have a work in the works that I am trying to finish, but real work has been really tough as this is our peak time of year. (Hubby and I own a construction business together and he has been getting home at midnight for the last four months...) Hoping to catch a break soon and wrap it up this month!!
Ah work, say no more.
Wife and I are both teachers, so this is the time of year there is literally no excuse though! :D
Looking forward to some FRESH MEAT!
Soon...............
I rather liked it. I understand the critique that judge gave, but the imagery you paint with your writing is superior. I enjoy it both from a subjective and metaphorical standpoint as well as just an interesting plot for a story.
The judge was incorrect also. I do want to know more. I would be interested to see where that story and those characters went, and I identify also with a fear of never being seen or understood properly or humans making a face value judgment on something they will never make time to understand.
Thank you Katy. I appreciate the comment, I'm always glad when someone gets it in some way.
I can answer the question about where the characters went. They shared an intense, intimate, half a year together. Imploded in explosive fashion. And a decade later both are accepted by society (who gives a fuck?), haven't spoken for ten years but still occasionally run into a mutual friend and ask how the other is doing, with only kind wishes.
It definitely felt semi-autobiographical.
INTENSE, INTIMATE relationships often do implode. Especially when you are in the life period of attempting to understand your place in society (before you stopped giving a fuck) and seeking validation and understanding in someone else who may or may not have a stable grasp on themselves. Especially when her previous “owner” “really loved her.”
Say that enough times you start to believe it. About happiness. But I am definitely glad that he was able to move on. Sounds like he was only seen as a dog when he tried to save her, but he was really a very good human that didn’t understand that yet.
True writers write for themselves and not necessarily an audience. That wisdom is not mine but true nonetheless I think. As long as it reaches and resonates with others on some level, and you grew from that piece you wrote it was a success.
Be well!