I wrote this when I was twenty-seven. I entered it into a short story competition a few years after writing it, but it didn’t do enough for the judges. I get why. On a personal level and for personal reasons perhaps, it’s my favourite piece I’ve ever written.
I feel your concerns about being understood; using colours or objects or places or music that's got personal significance and not knowing if people will get it. It's cool because it feels so open but is still so guarded.
I have my own thoughts about the symbolism used, but I don’t know if I'd want them confirmed or denied. Suffice to say, I dig what you've written. I enjoyed the transformation of the objects and the characters. I like the elements of travel and tethering and of the feeling of being an outsider.
And I can absolutely picture where they're sat. It feels really familiar somehow.
Very interesting piece, Kris! I read it this morning but wanted to think about it some more before commenting. What I really want to know more about are the physics and rules of this universe you've created. I'm kind of dense, so I'd like to understand if people alternate between transforming into dogs, or if everyone is just high AF, or whatever. If you were so inclined - and by no means am I trying to impose work on you - writing a follow-on "chapter" to this piece in your current mind state, with your current skills, could produce a fascinating result. You know, if you're bored. :-)
Because something very interesting is happening and I must know more!
I love it love it love it when she asks, "Are you a dog too?"
Ah...I remember when my beloved Camel Lights became Camel Blues... (We departed many years ago, but I still enjoy a vicarious drag every now and then, so thank you for the imagery to provide such.)
I rather liked it. I understand the critique that judge gave, but the imagery you paint with your writing is superior. I enjoy it both from a subjective and metaphorical standpoint as well as just an interesting plot for a story.
The judge was incorrect also. I do want to know more. I would be interested to see where that story and those characters went, and I identify also with a fear of never being seen or understood properly or humans making a face value judgment on something they will never make time to understand.
I feel your concerns about being understood; using colours or objects or places or music that's got personal significance and not knowing if people will get it. It's cool because it feels so open but is still so guarded.
I have my own thoughts about the symbolism used, but I don’t know if I'd want them confirmed or denied. Suffice to say, I dig what you've written. I enjoyed the transformation of the objects and the characters. I like the elements of travel and tethering and of the feeling of being an outsider.
And I can absolutely picture where they're sat. It feels really familiar somehow.
Very interesting piece, Kris! I read it this morning but wanted to think about it some more before commenting. What I really want to know more about are the physics and rules of this universe you've created. I'm kind of dense, so I'd like to understand if people alternate between transforming into dogs, or if everyone is just high AF, or whatever. If you were so inclined - and by no means am I trying to impose work on you - writing a follow-on "chapter" to this piece in your current mind state, with your current skills, could produce a fascinating result. You know, if you're bored. :-)
I’m not so sure you should regret that your head is not in a place to write this story again ... :)
The most fanstasical thing about this story is that no self respecing dog would smoke Camels! ;)
Great story and love the pacing.
Ah, I love this story. But Why?
Because something very interesting is happening and I must know more!
I love it love it love it when she asks, "Are you a dog too?"
Ah...I remember when my beloved Camel Lights became Camel Blues... (We departed many years ago, but I still enjoy a vicarious drag every now and then, so thank you for the imagery to provide such.)
And the end--what a twist!
Thank you for sharing.
I rather liked it. I understand the critique that judge gave, but the imagery you paint with your writing is superior. I enjoy it both from a subjective and metaphorical standpoint as well as just an interesting plot for a story.
The judge was incorrect also. I do want to know more. I would be interested to see where that story and those characters went, and I identify also with a fear of never being seen or understood properly or humans making a face value judgment on something they will never make time to understand.