Mr. Greenshields lived in his car
And often parked overnight in the school's carpark
Because he had no petrol money.
Mr. Greenshields was everyone's favourite substitute teacher
But not because he never made a single kid do a single bit of work.
Mr. Greenshields talked to us like we were adults
But this wasn't why we all loved him either
Because he disliked adults as much, if not more so, than he disliked kids.
Mr. Greenshields knew everything about everything
The most knowledgeable man ever to walk the earth
Stephen Fry on crack
Could have been the first to win a million on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Without wasting a lifeline
Even though he had more friends to phone than any other contestant ever did
Or did he?
Mr. Greenshields sat at the front of the room
Pencil behind his ear
Studying the Racing Post
“Talk quietly amongst yourselves”
The man had just given us a break from maths
Or geography, or English, or history, or business studies
All subjects he could have educated us on effortlessly
Better than any of the specialised teachers ever could
Hell, he would have taught us Chinese if asked
Mandarin or Cantonese.
No one ever played up for Mr. Greenshields
Not even the bad kids.
The longer the grey hair on Mr Greenshields’ head
The thicker the grey beard
The longer the losing streak.
A haircut and a shave
A win.
An ironed shirt
The man was on a roll.
Eventually I left school
We all did
And five years later
I stood next to Mr. Greenshields
At the window in the bookies
Long grey hair
Thick grey beard
He remembered my name
Asked what I was doing with my life
“Same as you” I said
He smiled for a moment
“Teaching?” he paused … “Or - ?”
Ten years later I saw him again
He didn't need to ask
My uncut hair and thick beard
Told all there was to tell.
Very nice! I always enjoy a cyclical story arc. Don't enjoy predatory economics, but The Invisible Hand etc etc.
Kris Mole, your writing really packs a punch. I don’t know what Amran is talking about either, but I sure as hell like this thing.